Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will- Frederick Douglass
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywherel- Martin Luther King
The greatest threat to freedom is the absence of criticism.- Wole Soyinka
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent- Dr. Martin Luther
We are all gifted, but we have to discover the gift, uncover the gift, nurture and develop the gift and use it for...the liberation struggle of our people.- Farrakhan
How can I turn from Africa and live?- Derek Walcott
For far too long, a majority of Africans have been indifferent to misrepresentations about who they are.- Childo Nwangwu
Its takes a village to raise a child- Yoruba Proverb
We cannot have the oppressors telling the oppressed how to rid themselves of the oppressor.- Kwame Ture
Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it political? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? - Dr. Martin L. King
Ugly is ignorance worn with pride.- Owen Alik Shahadah
AFRICAN MARRIAGE
The Single most important ceremony in African culture
A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers.
- African Proverb
African weddings are a family affair and involve the combining of two lives, two families, and sometimes even two communities! There are many different wedding traditions in the African continent and no two are exactly alike.
Marriage is sacred in Africa and beyond because it solidifies relationship that enrich communities and nations by bring forth new life and new hope. The union of man and woman is a celebration of the natural continuity of life. Marriage is the only known incubator for the raising of balanced socially functional children.
However, in all the communities the bride plays a very special role and is treated with respect because she is a link between the unborn and the ancestors. A bride might eventually bear a very powerful child. In some areas of East Africa the grooms family would even move to the brides village and set up a whole new house there.
There are many steps that take place before marriage starting at a very young age where training takes place in how to be a suitable partner. Girls will many times go to schools where women teach them what is involved in marriage, and in some ethnic groups even learn secret codes and languages so that they can communicate with other married women. In the Wolof people there is even a time where the elders of the village gather with the bride and give advice and gifts. Weddings can be very elaborate, involving feasting and dancing for days within a community, they can be very simple, or they can even be performed in huge marriage ceremonies involving many different couples.
In the Diaspora, especially the UK, marriage is compounded by a the social culture of the "baby- mama" syndrome. Which according to some experts is a manifestation of immaturity and lack of moral responsibility. Marriage squeeze refers to the demographic imbalance in which the number of potential brides does not approximately equal the number of potential grooms. With African men being "deleted" from the marriage pool via: inter-racial choice, prisons, etc is having profound consequences on African-Diaspora finding suitable partners, especially if they are educated and looking for men from that social class.
POLGAMY (Polygyny) IN AFRICA
Polygamy has always been a feature of the world. In Africa pologamy expressed itself in the Jewish, Islamic and other native traditions. In all systems there were strict laws which protected the womens position in this traditional African system.
Esther Stanford on Polygamy
Polygamy became taboo with Colonialism due to the conflict with inheritance in large families, the social-economic threat caused by increased African populations and the Eurocentric Christian values.
However today polygamy is still a reality and is becoming an option in the African Diaspora in response to a social dilemma. Polygamy within the framework of law and balance is a viable aspect of African family systems which is exited from Kemet to Sokoto.
Perception of African self has been so given to us by the “other” that it is hard to distinguish what is indigenous intelligence and what is a product of mental conditioning because of the European dynamic. There is a great confusion around modernity with progress and development and too often Westernization or more specific Europeanization is collapses into modernity. African people must objectively re-examine structures that were the backbone of their historical development in an attempt to successful engage in modernity.
Outside of the Western paradigms, all aspects of Africa must be placed on the table of development; critically examined, modified, deleted or enhanced with respect to the African cultural continuum.
GENETICS AND POLYGAMY ARGUMENT (NEW SCIENTIST)
In the event of a global holocaust the only system which would favor re-populating human kind with sustainable diversity would be if the sex-ration was 1 man to multiply females, the 1:1 ration could not re-populate humanity.Throughout human history, relatively few men seem to have had a greater input into the gene pool than the rest, suggests a study of variations in DNA.
Tens of thousands of years of polygamy has left a mark on our genomes that is a signature that small numbers of males must have mated with lots of females.
Over time, such a pattern will spawn more genetic differences on the X chromosome than other chromosomes. This is because women have two copies of the X, while men only one. In other words, the diversity arises because some men don't get to pass on their genes, while most women do."Humans are considered to be mildly polygynous and we descend from primates that are polygynous," says Michael Hammer, a population geneticist at the University of Arizona in Tucson.
Polygyny refers to the practice of males mating with multiple females, and its most common form in humans is polygamy or multiple marriages.
President Bashir of Sudan stated that the undeniable relationship between development and population increase (as clear with China and India) and openly encourages polygamy to allow increased development. This seems contrary to Western advisors who encourage Africans to decrease their populations, but ironically these same experts argue for an increase in Europe's population and are deeply concerned with the social-economic consequences of decreasing birth rates in the Western world. Ali Mazrui states: Culture provides lenses of perception, the way of looking at reality, a world view; culture provides standards of evaluation; what is good and what is evil; what is legitimate and what is illegitimate are rooted in criteria provided by culture. Culture conditions motivations; what motivates individuals to act or refrain from acting, what inspires individuals to perform well or to really exert themselves, is partly inspired by cultural factors. Culture is the medium of communication; the communicative aspects of culture range from language in the literal sense to physical gestures and modes of dress. Culture provides a basis of stratification, a pecking order in society. Status, rank and class are partly the outcome of a cultural order.
Some African advocates of polygamy see it as an aspect of a needed paradigm shift where Africans revisit there traditional practices which worked for thousands of years. Thus mentally throwing of colonial imposed taboos.
African Wedding Cultural Traditions
All across Africa, traditional cultural weddings are dying out with the influx and normalization of the so-called White Western wedding. The sample below is to show the richness and importance of continuing African weddings and halting the culturally destructive practice of aping the traditions of the West.
Ethiopia
In Ethiopia the Karo people enhance a young brides beauty by tattooing her abdomen with different symbols.Amhara people: most marriages are negotiated by the two families, with a civil ceremony sealing the contract. A priest may be present. Divorce is allowed and must also be negotiated. There is also a "temporary marriage," by oral contract before witnesses.
The woman is paid housekeeper's wages, and is not eligible for inheritance, but children of the marriage are legally recognized and qualify for inheritance. Priests may marry but not eligible for divorce or remarriage.The Wedding procedure starts with the grooms side sending a representative who request the marriage between the parties. Then an appointment is given and a verdict on the marriage is given. Before the wedding the Dowry (
ጧሎሽ) is given as agreed. On the wedding day the groom and three or four "bestmen" (ሚዜ) go to the wifes house. At the house the ladies family and friends cermonially block the entrance to the house. The associates must sing strongly and force their way into the house. The first bestman holds perfume and sprays everywhere inside the house. The brides family sing songs such as (
እግር ስመህ ግባ). Christian marriages, mainly in Tigray and Amhara regions, are often arranged by the parents of the bride and groom with a great deal of negotiation. According to tradition and culture the bride must be virgin when the marriage takes place. Because the bride virginity is highly valued and pride in Christian marriage, with the whole family being shamed if the bride is not virgin at marriage.
Ghana
The Ghanaian marriage ceremony is a traditional ceremony where the groom accompanied by his family formally asks for the bride's hand in marriage in the presence of family, friends and well wishers. The traditional ceremony is a necessary common rite of marriage for all Ghanaian couples. In Ghana today, some couples perform this alone as a marriage ceremony, however, most couples also go on to perform the western wedding in a church in addition to the traditional marriage ceremony.
The marriage ceremony starts with the "knocking" (kokooko) on the door ceremony. In the knocking ceremony the groom, along with his father and some elder members of the family visits the brides house to announce their marriage intentions. Often times this ceremony is performed a week or two before the actual marriage ceremony. The knocking ("kookoo ko") is derived from the Ghanaian tradition of knocking on at the entrance of a house before entering as a visitor. For the knocking ceremony the groom's family brings along two bottles on alcoholic drinks, some money and cola to the house to present to the brides family. In the past, and to date, the drinks are used to pour libation. (Libation is a traditional form of prayer to the ancestral spirits and God). When the drinks are presented, a designated spokesman from the grooms delegation formally asks the brides family for permission to enter the house and announce their intentions. If the drinks are accepted then it means permission has been granted to the visitors to state their intentions. The spokes person will then explain in the most lyrical language, that the groom, has seen a "beautiful flower" in the house of the brides family that he desires and would like to "uproot" that flower, not steal, from its keeper, hence they are here to ask for the brides hand in marriage and inquire about what is required in order to make that flower his own.
Once the intentions are announced, the brides family may ask the groom and his family to come back at a set later date during which the brides family will investigate the grooms family background further to see :
a) if the family has no chronic illness or genetic disabilities in the family
b) if family has a good reputation, that is no immediate family member such as a sibling, an aunt or uncle is known to be a thief, prostitute or murderer
c) if the groom has no illegitimate children or has another marriage elsewhere etc.
d) if the groom is of good character and well matched to the bride
Often times the background inquiry is made when the brides family knows nothing or knows little of the groom's family. If they are satisfied and pleased with what they find out, they will send a list of things to the groom and his family to provide before they can marry the bride.
On the set date the groom and his family, along with invited guests show up early at the brides house. The grooms family sits on one side, while the other brides family sits on the other side facing each other. Elders from both family begin the marriage ceremony with a prayer and introductions. The grooms family begins by presenting the dowry and all the other items on the list one, by one. At each stage, the items are checked to make sure everything asked on the list is being presented. Negotiation is possible if the grooms family feels too much is being asked of them. The bride is not present in all of these proceedings. The groom, although present, does speak in all of these proceedings as all the speaking and negotiation is done on his behalf by the designated spokes person from his family.
Once everything has presented to the brides family, the bride would then be brought into the gathering. Because a decoy can be used to "tease" the groom, the groom is asked to verify if this is indeed his bride. Once he confirms, she is asked three times by her father if she agrees to marrying the groom. She is asked if they should accept the dowry and accompanying gifts from the grooms family. When she agrees, then the groom will slide the ring onto her fingers and kiss and hug her. An elder presents a bible to both the groom and bride as a symbol of how important religion should be in their married life. Prayers are said and blessings are given. The married couple is now congratulated and each elder in the room offers marriage advice to the new couple. Once all of this is done there is a huge celebration reception where food & drinks are served. There is lots of music and dancing till nightfall.
Kenya
The Massai people of Kenya grow up with children of their own age and normally form relationships with these people. However, in marriage women are given to a man they do not know who is much older then themselves. The bride packs all her belongings and is dressed in her finest jewelry. At the marriage ceremony the father of the bride spits on the brides head and breasts as a blessing and then she leaves with her husband walking to her new home she never looks back fearing that she will turn to stone. This can be a very sad experience for the bride, who is 13-16 years old and may walk a long way to get to her new house. In order to ward off bad luck sometimes the women of the grooms family will even insult the bride.
The Swahili of Kenya bathe brides in sandalwood oils and tatoo henna designs on her limbs. A women elder, or somo, gives instructions to the bride on how to please her husband. Sometimes the somo will even hide under the bed in case there are any problems! In a small city called Lamu, situated outside the coast of Kenya, lives a group of Swahili Muslims. In this community the weddings can be going on for a whole week with a lot of festivities consisted of singing, dancing and food. But these festivities are celebrated separate for men and women. After the "real" wedding the bride is shown in public, with a so-called, kupamba. This ceremony is always taking place the evening after the wedding and it is the grand finale of the passage rite, in which the young bride enters the married women’s world. Today this particularly ceremony has become more in focus than some years ago when the kuinngia ndani (the entry) was the main attraction. It is a ceremony when the groom is walking down the streets to meet his bride and then complete first phase of the wedding. The kupamba has become more popular of various reasons, but the main reason is the fact that it is an opportunity for women to meet and have a good time without their husbands. When the enter this party they all take off their black veils and underneath they have beautiful dresses and wonderful haircuts etc. Another problem with this kupamba is that many families almost ruin themselves just to be able to have this party for their daughters. The musicians and food cost plenty of money. Sometimes the mother of the bride, female relatives and neighbours have to help out with the food and devote themselves to make the food some days before the ceremony.
In another area of Kenya the main feature of the wedding is the kupamba, which happens the night after the wedding, it is basically a display of the bride. It is very popular because it is a party just for the women, and when they enter the party they are able to take off their large veils and show off elaborate hairstyles and dresses. The party can almost become a competition because it is believed that if a women has a good husband he will get her beautiful jewelry and clothes.
For the Samburu people marriage is a unique series of elaborate ritual. Great importance is given to the preparation of gifts by the bridegroom (two goatskins, two copper earrings, a container for milk, a sheep) and of gifts for the ceremony. The marriage is concluded when a bull enters a hut guarded by the bride's mother, and is killed.
Namibia
The Himba people of Namibia kidnap a bride before the ceremony and dress her in a leather marriage headdress. After the ceremony she is brought into the house where the family tells her what her responsibilities will be as the wife and then anoint her with butterfat from cows. This shows that she has been accepted into the family.
Niger
The Wodabee of Niger court their cousins for marriage. The male cousins wear powerful amulets which are supposed to heighten their attractiveness to the girl. Wodaabe are often polygamous Marriages are either arranged by parents when the couple are infants (called “koogal”), or they can be because of love and attraction (called “teegal”). The family of the groom gives a bride price to the bride's family and then they are married. A bride stays with her husband until she becomes pregnant after which she returns to her mother's home, where she will remain for the next three to four years. She will deliver the baby at her mother's home and then she becomes a boofeydo which literally means, "someone who has committed an error." During the time of being a boofeydo, she is not permitted to see or speak with her husband. It is a cultural sin for him to express any interest in her or the newborn child. After two to three years, her mother will release her to visit her husband, but she still will not be permitted to live with him or bring the child with her until the woman's mother can purchase everything that is needed for her home. Once these items are purchased, she is allowed to go and live with her husband, taking her child with her.
Nigeria
In Nigeria, in west Africa, a husband never uses his wife’s name. Only relatives and the women's own children are allowed to use the name her father gave her and it is only unmarried girls who may be called by name. So to learn a married woman’s name, one have to ask her husband the name of her father, and use that. When a couple are about to get married in this community people sing to inform that the bride is bound and is brought to the young man. Singing and dancing are two very important fragments in the Nigerian weddings and they are always combined with a big feast. The bride is keept in a special hut where she stays till he is let inside. But first he has to give chicken and tobacco to the guest and when all have got this the bride groom is let inside the brides’s hut and the marrige is announced. Next day a goat is killed for the bride and the blood is poured over the threshold of the hut. and the bride’s mother asks her daughter if she is pleased with the groom. After this the dancing starts again and the drums call make visitors come and they give the bride a penny to see her face and another penny for camwood to rub her body. In Nigeria marriage is seen as a bound between blood relations and are considered as very important.
Today the traditional African weddings are dying and are becoming more like the Western-style church weddings. This has more or less become norm in Nigeria today. Eventhough people are born and raised in Nigeria they are still likely to have a Western-style white wedding at the expense of a proper African wedding. The reason behind this can be the Nigerian Church and the Eurocentric missionaries who influenced the Church and the African groups. But there are some in Nigeria who still live after the old traditions and are preforming the tradtioally wedding ceremonies.
The first step in the wedding process is the first meeting with the both involving families where they investigate each other. At this occation they groom's family donate some gifts to the bride's family, consisting mostly of cattles, yams or money. After this the ceremony the bride comes to live with the groom and his family, and if that turns out to work out a weddingfeast is held. After thet ceremonial feast he bride is concidered married to the groom and his family.
The bride should be a virgin before the actual wedding, but today there are exceptions. Pregancy outside of marriage is considered shameful. Polygamy marriages exist and are legal in Nigeria, but again the Christian religion forbids it. Pologamy marriages have though become less common in today's Nigeria. This is due to the fact that a man in such a marriage is responsible to provide for his family and to provide for a family is expensive. Because of the economical situation in Nigeria it has become less common with polygamy marriages.
South Africa
Tswana Marriage Customs The Tswana (Setswana) speaking people of Botswana and South Africa have a marriage ceremony which begins with a delegation from the groom’s side approaching the bride’s side in an elaborate ceremony which takes place early in the morning. The delegation which comprise of an even number of men and women enter the compound of the bride’s family. The women carry part of the dowry or lobolla on their heads and proceed into the compound crawling on their knees. The male delegation approaches one of the several gathers of men which are representing the bride. These men are in one or more groups at the fire. There is a ceremonial air of tension. When the party at the fire greet the groom’s delegation they only reply with a rubble acknowledgment. They deliver gifts such as whisky and also a sheep which is to be slaughtered for the celebration to follow. The women wait on their knees and the bride’s party calls them “enemies” and ceremonially treat them with a slight contempt because they are there to take a member of their family away.
Lobolla:
The lobolla consist of blankets, undergarments, and other useful things which is delivered and inspected by the bride’s representatives. By the fire the men discuss at length the lobolla and negotiate and sing praises of the husband to be. In modern times money replaces cows and R1000 (South African Rand) may represent one cow. Thus a typical dowry could be 10 cows, i.e. R10,000 After the negotiations are completed the entire delegation enters the house and is accommodated with refreshments. All parties return to their home and return later in the day for a lavish celebration and a meal. The bride’s parties are expected to give a sheep as a return offering, but in modern times for practicality sometimes money is used to represent this gift. In some Tswana culture the man purchases a bed which is pre-delivered to the bride’s family house. He must remain there until he can provide a house for his new wife. He is expected everyday to vacate the property at 03:00 in the morning and avoid being seen by any of his in-laws. This is said to encourage him to provide a new home for his new family.
Sudan
The Neur people of southern Sudan the groom must pay 20-40 cattle, the marriage is completed only after the wife has born 2 children. If the wife only bears one child and the husband asks for a divorce he can also ask for either the return of the cattle or the first child. Divorce therefore is very difficult. Another interesting fact is that if a husband dies then the husbands family must provide a brother to the widow and any children born to the brother are considered the deceased's children.
Senegal
Traditional Wolof wedding ceremonies, the parents of the groom-to-be sends elders to the girl’s parents with kola nuts and money to ask for her hand in marriage. The girl’s parents consult their daughter and either consent to or reject the proposal. If accepted, the parents of the bride to be distribute the kola nuts among the family and neighbours. This distribution is an informal way of announcing the impending wedding. In more traditional practices, the groom to be’s family paid the girl’s bride price in the form of money. This tradition, has been modernized and dowry is paid in money, cars or even houses. After the completion of the groom’s obligations, the two families set a wedding day. Before the wedding day, the groom’s family gives a party to welcome their daughter-in-law and to prepare her to live with her new family. The imam and elders advise the groom with the presence of the some representatives of the bride’s parents. Weddings traditionally take place at the groom's home. Parents receive guests with food and drink (but not alcohol), while guests bring gifts of money, rice, drinks, ships, sugar, or spices. After the ceremony people feast and dance with guests hiring a griot (praise-singer) and giving further gifts to the groom’s parents. The girl moves to the husband's (or his parent's) home or compound, bringing utensils for cooking which she buys with the money from the bride price.
Shona
The marriage customs of the Shona people of Zimbabwe is a process of several months. Roora, the same as South Africa's lobola is paid in a similar fashion to South Africa and Botswana. The bride however, decides when to go to her husband. She goes at night, with her female relatives escorting her. The day she chooses is a surprise to the groom. She is covered in white from head to toe so that no one can see her. As she walks into the village, his family starts dancing and ululating. They also begin to prepare an impromptu party. The groom is found and told that his bride has arrived. The surprise is to see how the groom's family reacts to an emergency. The bride, covered, walks thru the whole village, taking her time. The villagers, all related to the groom, encourage her to keep on walking. They flatter her. They throw money at her feet and they sing songs about how happy they are that their people will live on because the bride has agreed to have babies for their son. She is eventually escorted into her mother in law's home where she is encouraged to take off her veil with gifts and pleadings. That is when the family gets to see their daughter in law for the first time. A big party of dancing, and drinking begins all night long into the morning.
Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will
- Frederick Douglass 
